| |  | | | | | | | | | | | The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. | | Uncategorized | | | The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians. | | Uncategorized | | | The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough. | | Uncategorized | | | There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating? | | Uncategorized | | | They're gonna wish they'd never invited me. I have a basement full of stuff I'm gonna send. They'll be out of room before I'm done. | | Uncategorized | | | | | We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it. | | Uncategorized | | | We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it. | | Uncategorized | | | When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate for his campaign the name "God." He's suggesting that God has endorsed the ticket and given permission to have His name used in promotional material in exchange for certain considerations, like school prayer. There are lots of cheap tricks used in political campaigns, and evoking God's name is one of them. | | God; Politicians | | | When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. | | Uncategorized | | | | | | | |
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