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Quotations by author » Fred Allen
American Comedian, 1894-1956
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 64 Pages: 1 2 3 4 Next Last
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
CelebrityWork
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done
Uncategorized
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Uncategorized
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Uncategorized
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
Uncategorized
A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on
Uncategorized
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Uncategorized
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Uncategorized
A vice president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man" who has until 5 PM to make a molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.
Uncategorized
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission
AdvertisingFunny
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
Uncategorized
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter
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An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Actors and acting
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Uncategorized
Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne-sounds like a trunk falling down a flight of stairs.
Uncategorized
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Funny
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk
Uncategorized
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Uncategorized
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Killing
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 64 Pages: 1 2 3 4 Next Last
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