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| A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish' |
| Uncategorized |
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| A Democrat in a red state? ... Were you elected, or is this a divine miracle? |
| Uncategorized |
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| A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it |
| Women |
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| A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. |
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| A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. |
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| A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. |
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| All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something real like this fair, and make it something larger than life. |
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| and opened a Harry Potter book, read a few pages and said: 'I could have done that. I could have done that while doing all the other things that I do. Why didn't I?' |
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| And she wept onto the sleeve of my suit. I have a suit that has Lindsay's tears on it, |
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| Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. |
| Beauty; Mind |
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| Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either |
| Pity; Sin |
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| Big mistake, ... Why do I need another weekly deadline? |
| Uncategorized |
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| Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function |
| Cats |
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| chastened by the stinging criticisms of last year's award nominations to five fiction writers nobody ever heard of. |
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