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Quotations by author » Groucho Marx
American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977
Quotes: 61 - 80 of 129 Pages: First Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Last
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
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I'm giving you 30 days to live.
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Cities
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you
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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
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I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Happiness
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
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In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
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It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
Marriage
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
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Quotes: 61 - 80 of 129 Pages: First Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Last
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