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| We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. | | Uncategorized | |
| We must respect the other fellow's religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. | | Religion | |
| We suffer most when the White House busts with ideas | | Uncategorized | |
| Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. | | Wealth | |
| What ass first let lose the doctrine that the suffrage is a high boon and voting a noble privilege? Looking back over my 19 years (of it) I can recall few times when I have voted with anything approaching exhilaration | | Uncategorized | |
| What is the function that a clergyman performs in the world? Answer: he gets his living by assuring idiots that he can save them from an imaginary hell | | Uncategorized | |
| What men value in this world is not rights but privileges | | Uncategorized | |
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| When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before. | | Taxation | |
| When I hear artists and authors making fun of business men I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks | | Art | |
| When I mount the scaffold at last these will be my farewell words to the sheriff: Say what you will against me when I am gone, but don't forget to add, in common justice, that I was never converted to anything | | Goodbye | |
| When we appropriate money from the public funds to pay for vaccinating a horde of negroes, we do not do it because we have any sympathy for them or because we crave their blessings, but simply because we don't want them to be falling ill of smallpox | | Uncategorized | |
| When women kiss it always reminds me of prizefighters shaking hands | | Uncategorized | |
| When women kiss, it always reminds one of prizefighters shaking hands | | Kissing; Women | |
| Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest | | Uncategorized | |
| Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it | | Uncategorized | |
| Wherefore, Nietzsche concluded that the chief characteristic of a moral system was its tendency to perpetuate itself unchanged, and to destroy all who questioned it or denied it | | Uncategorized | |
| Who ever heard, indeed, of an autobiography that was not (interesting)? I can recall none in all the literature of the world | | Autobiography; Literature | |
| You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth | | Life | |
| You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing | | Life | |
