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| Every great wave of popular passion that rolls up on the prairies is dashed to spray when it strikes the hard rocks of Manhattan | | Passion | |
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| Every man is thoroughly happy twice in his life: just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one | | First love; Happiness | |
| Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. | | Uncategorized | |
| Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats | | Uncategorized | |
| Explanations exist; they have existed for all times, for there is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong | | Uncategorized | |
| Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. | | Belief | |
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| Fine: A bribe paid by a rich man to escape the lawful penalty of his crime | | Uncategorized | |
| For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. | | Theology | |
| For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. | | Uncategorized | |
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| For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end. | | Uncategorized | |
| For men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in their readiness to doubt | | Uncategorized | |
| Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted | | Democracy | |
| Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good | | Uncategorized | |
| God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat | | God | |
| Good government is that which delivers the citizen from the risk of being done out of his life and property too arbitrarily and violently - one that relieves him sufficiently from the barbaric business of guarding them to enable him to engage in gent | | Government | |
| Government is a broker in pillage, and every election is sort of an advance auction sale of stolen goods | | Government | |
| Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitrary, cruel, grasping and unintelligent. | | Government | |
