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| If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x X y is less than y | | Uncategorized | |
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| If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. | | Uncategorized | |
| Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable | | Uncategorized | |
| Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable. | | Uncategorized | |
| Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time | | Morality | |
| Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead | | Immortality | |
| In brief, she assumed that, being a man, I was vain to the point of imbecility, and this assumption was correct, as it always is | | Men | |
| In order to teach chemistry or psychology or even history or Greek a man must actually know something, but for the teacher of English nothing seems to be necessary beyond a crude capacity to read and write | | Uncategorized | |
| In the youth of every man there comes over him a sudden yearning to be a good fellow: to be "Bill" or "Jim" to multitudes, and to go down into legend with Sir John Falstaff and Tom Jones | | Uncategorized | |
| In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. | | Sadness; World | |
| Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice | | Injustice | |
| Intelligence has been commoner among American Presidents than high character | | Uncategorized | |
| It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is a peculiarity of the American mind that it regards any excursion into the truth as an adventure into cynicism | | Adventure; Mind; Truth | |
| It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is Hell, of course, that makes priests powerful, not Heaven, for after thousands of years of so-called civilization fear remains the one common denominator of mankind | | Uncategorized | |
| It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin | | Uncategorized | |
