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| It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. | | Golf | |
| It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality, universally recognized as having those qualities, who spent his whole life appraising and describing the work of other men. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents | | Giving | |
| It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously. | | Materialism | |
| It is not the drinker, but the man who has just stopped drinking, who thinks the world is going to the dogs | | Uncategorized | |
| It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry | | Being a Woman | |
| It is only the savage, whether of the African bush or of the American gospel tent, who pretends to know the will and intent of God exactly and completely. | | Uncategorized | |
| It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull | | Uncategorized | |
| It seems to me that a great university ought to have room in it for men subscribing to every sort of idea that is currently prevalent | | Ideas; University | |
| It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him | | Trust | |
| Jealousy: The theory that some other fellow has just as little taste | | Jealousy | |
| Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him | | Juries and Judges | |
| Lawyer: One who protects us from robbers by taking away the temptation | | Uncategorized | |
| Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age. | | Uncategorized | |
| Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. | | Life | |
| Lincoln marked the half-way post on the road to the sewers (in presidents) | | Uncategorized | |
| Living with a dog is messy - like living with an idealist | | Living | |
