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Quotations by author » Homer Simpson
Fictional character from the animated television series created by Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 68 Pages: 1 2 3 4 Next Last
"Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't, and that's cool. But we're probably right. Amen." - Homer Simpson
Religion
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel" {while speaking on the phone}
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'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
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(Lisa) "I'm going to become a vegetarian" (Homer) "Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?" "Yes" "Bacon?" "Yes Dad" Ham?" "Dad all those meats come from the same animal" "Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!"
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Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!
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Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
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Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.
Humor
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
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Ban the Ban Rally.
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Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
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Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
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Carnies built this country, the carnival part of it anyway.
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do i have to do anything
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Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
AlcoholDrinking
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
Family
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
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I am not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy. Aren't you, TV?
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I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.
Beer
I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!
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I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!
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Quotes: 1 - 20 of 68 Pages: 1 2 3 4 Next Last
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