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| Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis. | | Morality | |
| My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist than his consciousness knows about my unconscious | | Conscience | |
| News reports stand up as people, and people wither into editorials. Clichés walk around on two legs while men are having theirs shot off. | | Uncategorized | |
| Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics | | Uncategorized | |
| No ideas and the ability to express them - that's a journalist | | Journalism | |
| One cannot dictate an aphorism to a typist. It would take too long. | | Uncategorized | |
| Progress celebrates victories over nature. Progress makes purses out of human skin. When people were traveling in mail coaches, the world got ahead better than it does now that salesmen fly through the air. What good is speed if the brain has oozed out on the way? How will the heirs of this age be taught the most basic motions that are necessary to activate the most complicated machines? Nature can rely on progress; it will avenge it for the outrage it has perpetrated on it. | | Uncategorized | |
| Progress, under whose feet the grass mourns and the forest turns into paper from which newspaper plants grow, has subordinated the purpose of life to the means of subsistence and turned us into the nuts and bolts for our tools | | Progress | |
| Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy. | | Illness | |
| Psychoanalysis is the mental illness it purports to cure | | Uncategorized | |
| Psychoanalysis: a rabbit that was swallowed by a boa constrictor that just wanted to see what it was like in there | | Uncategorized | |
| Satires which the censor can understand are justly forbidden | | Uncategorized | |
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| Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis. | | Uncategorized | |
| Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves | | Irony | |
| Sexuality poorly repressed unsettles some families; well repressed, it unsettles the whole world. | | Uncategorized | |
| Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid | | Solitude | |
| Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays | | Uncategorized | |
| Squeeze human nature into the straitjacket of criminal justice and crime will appear. | | Uncategorized | |
| Stupidity gets up early; that is why events are accustomed to happening in the morning. | | Uncategorized | |
