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Quotations by author » Mark Twain
American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 1177 Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next ... Last
If readers recognized that he was an ass, unaware of his own stupidity, ''your work will be a triumph.
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"Varanasi" is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together
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'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.
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(Twain on Cain): it was his misfortune to live in a dark age that knew not the beneficent Insanity Plea
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. . . a man must not hold himself aloof from the things which his friends and his community have at heart if he would be liked . . .
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...It is hard to overestimate how far a man can go in America if he looks good on a horse.
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A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother
Babies
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime
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A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
Books
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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A coin, sleeve button, or a collar button dropped in a bedroom will hide itself and be hard to find. A handkerchief in bed 'can't' be found.
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A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public
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A crank is someone with a new idea -- until it catches on.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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A crowded police court docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty
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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment
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A genuine expert can always foretell a thing that is 500 years away easier than he can a thing that's only 500 seconds off
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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Quotes: 1 - 20 of 1177 Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next ... Last
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