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| When you are in politics you are in a wasp's nest with a short shirt-tail, as the saying is | | Uncategorized | |
| When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. | | Uncategorized | |
| When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain | | Love | |
| When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. | | Uncategorized | |
| When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest. | | Uncategorized | |
| Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth. | | Uncategorized | |
| Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. | | Uncategorized | |
| Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. | | Uncategorized | |
| Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. | | Uncategorized | |
| Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible. | | Uncategorized | |
| Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts | | Uncategorized | |
| Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth | | Uncategorized | |
| While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. | | Evolution; People; Women | |
| Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues. | | Uncategorized | |
| Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs? | | Uncategorized | |
| Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. | | Uncategorized | |
| Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved | | Uncategorized | |
| Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. | | Uncategorized | |
| Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly -- a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects. | | Uncategorized | |
| Wine is a clog to the pen, not an inspiration | | Wine | |