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| You can't reason with the heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns. | | Uncategorized | |
| You know about transmigration of souls; do you know about transposition of epochs--and bodies? | | Uncategorized | |
| You may have noticed that the less I know about a subject the more confidence I have, and the more new light I throw on it. | | Uncategorized | |
| You ought never to "sass" old people- unless they "sass" you first | | Uncategorized | |
| You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom. | | Uncategorized | |
| You see, he was going for the Holy Grail. The boys all took a flier at the Holy Grail now and then. It was a several years' cruise. They always put in the long absence snooping around, in the most conscientious way, though none of them had any idea where the Holy Grail really was, and I don't think any of them actually expected to find it, or would have known what to do with it if he had run across it. | | Uncategorized | |
| You should never do anything wicked and lay it on your brother, when it is just as convenient to lay it on some other boy | | Uncategorized | |
| You shouldn't try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and it annoys the pig. | | Uncategorized | |
| You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear | | Uncategorized | |
| You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands. | | Uncategorized | |
| Youth is wonderful. It's a shame to waste it on the young. | | Uncategorized | |
| Zeal and sincerity can carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and sword | | Uncategorized | |
| [(CNN) --] Four years at West Point and plenty of books and schooling will learn a man a great deal, ... It won't learn him the river. | | Uncategorized | |
| [On his deathbed:] Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all -- the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved | | Uncategorized | |
| [The undersecretary's blundering tour of the Middle East might be the latest incarnation of Innocents Abroad.] The people stared at us everywhere, and we stared at them, ... We bore down on them with America's greatness until we crushed them. | | Uncategorized | |
