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| The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift. | | Uncategorized | |
| The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. | | Uncategorized | |
| The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. | | Uncategorized | |
| The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions/ Is by their actions. | | Uncategorized | |
| The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork and Bacon. Let others think his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. | | Uncategorized | |
| The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. | | Uncategorized | |
| The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. | | Uncategorized | |
| Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around | | Uncategorized | |
| There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends | | Friends; Friendship | |
| There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it. | | Uncategorized | |
| There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, And that is to have either a clear conscience, or none at all | | Happiness | |
| They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread lines, and they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball | | Charity; Newspapers | |
| To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. | | Uncategorized | |
| To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up | | Uncategorized | |
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| When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when it seems I’ve married one of Shakespeare’s dreams. | | Love | |
| Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him. | | Uncategorized | |
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| You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't. | | Uncategorized | |
| You can take it as understood that your luck changes only if it's good | | Uncategorized | |
