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| A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one. | | Uncategorized | |
| An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. | | Uncategorized | |
| Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together, I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: ''If you truly love me, kill the bartender.'' | | Uncategorized | |
| Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. | | Uncategorized | |
| Don't do housework: after a few years the dirt doesn't get any worse. | | Uncategorized | |
| Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head | | Euphemisms; Youth | |
| Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. | | Euphemisms | |
| Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are. | | Fashion | |
| For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change | | Uncategorized | |
| For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. | | Uncategorized | |
| Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. | | Uncategorized | |
| However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. | | Uncategorized | |
| I don't hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are turned | | Foreigners | |
| I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. | | Uncategorized | |
| I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises. | | Uncategorized | |
| I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds. | | Uncategorized | |
| I told Mr. Hurt it was difficult for actors to play victims, but he has specialized in victims. When he stopped playing me, he played Caligula, which was only me in a sheet. Then he played The Elephant Man, which was only me with a paper bag over my head. | | Uncategorized | |
| If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. | | Uncategorized | |
| If I were asked to describe the difference between the sexes in the gay world, I would say that the men wanted to be amused; the girls sought vindication | | Homosexuality | |
| If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist. | | Uncategorized | |
