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| I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?" | | Uncategorized | |
| If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? | | Uncategorized | |
| If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. | | Uncategorized | |
| If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there. | | Uncategorized | |
| If you masturbated with your left hand, would it be like being touched by a retarded person? | | Uncategorized | |
| In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again." | | Uncategorized | |
| It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch. | | Uncategorized | |
| It has this scope that's outrageous, but yet at the core, these very intimate scenes, so that alone is interesting. | | Uncategorized | |
| It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you- when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead. | | Uncategorized | |
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| Marijuana enhances many things, colors, flavors, sensations, but you are certainly not f**king empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn feet. The only way it's a performance-enhancing drug is if there's a big f**king Hershey bar at the end of the run. Then you'll be like a Swiss ski jumper going, "I'm there!" | | Uncategorized | |
| Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are. | | Ballet; Comedy | |
| Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT! | | Uncategorized | |
| My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. | | Uncategorized | |
| My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. | | Uncategorized | |
| Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose. | | Uncategorized | |
| No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. | | Uncategorized | |
| People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. | | Uncategorized | |
