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| A good cure for insomnia is to get plenty of sleep. |
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| A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. |
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| A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does. |
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| A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. |
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| A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. |
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| A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape crusher with athlete's foot?. |
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| Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket. |
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| After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. |
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| Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. |
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| All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. |
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| Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. |
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| Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad. |
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| Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for. |
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| Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. |
| Attitude |
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| Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. |
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| Children should neither be seen or heard from -- ever again. |
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