| |  | | | | | | | | | | | The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and not the dog, is man's best friend. Rover is taking a beating -- and he should. | | Uncategorized | | | The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive. | | Uncategorized | | | There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink it. | | Uncategorized | | | There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. | | Uncategorized | | | There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass. | | Uncategorized | | | W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole',' he explained. | | Uncategorized | | | We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking . . . that this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whiskey. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything. . . . | | Uncategorized | | | Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe. | | Uncategorized | | | What is the presidency but a glorified business -- or, at least, a fine racket. | | Uncategorized | | | | | | | When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. | | Death and dying; Life | | | Who has not experienced the unutterable despair that follows the crash of a treasured bottle. | | Uncategorized | | | Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one. | | Women | | | You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place. | | Uncategorized | | | You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. | | Uncategorized | | | You know women ought to be like bank notes. You ought to be able to exchange one 40 for two 20's. | | Uncategorized | | | | | | | |
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