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| An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. | | Uncategorized | |
| and I worked on the voice for months. I would play tapes for people, and sometimes they couldn't tell the difference. | | Uncategorized | |
| Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery | | Uncategorized | |
| Good evening Mr and Mrs America, from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press. | | Uncategorized | |
| Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. | | Gossip | |
| He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast. | | Uncategorized | |
| Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation. | | Uncategorized | |
| Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors. | | Cities | |
| I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret. | | Uncategorized | |
| Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you. | | Uncategorized | |
| No! Someday you will understand. Just save it in a box. | | Uncategorized | |
| Nothing recedes like success. | | Success | |
| Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants | | Uncategorized | |
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| The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend | | Enemies | |
| The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother-and the public. | | Uncategorized | |
| The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people. | | Uncategorized | |