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| Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. | | Uncategorized | |
| Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. | | Heroism | |
| Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times. | | Uncategorized | |
| Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow's too lazy to form an opinion | | Uncategorized | |
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| Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers. | | Uncategorized | |
| Comedians haven't improved. Nothing has improved but taxes. | | Uncategorized | |
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| Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work | | Communism | |
| Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. | | Uncategorized | |
| Congressional investigations are for the benefit of photographers. | | Uncategorized | |
| Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human. | | Uncategorized | |
| Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans | | Politics; Voting | |
| Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. | | Uncategorized | |
| Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. | | Diplomacy | |
| Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. | | Diplomacy; Politics; War | |
| Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. | | Uncategorized | |
| Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. | | Uncategorized | |
| Don't just grab at the first thing that comes along. . . . Know when to refuse something that won't get you anywhere. | | Uncategorized | |
