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| Don't just grab the first thing that comes by. Know what to turn down. | | Uncategorized | |
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| Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there | | Uncategorized | |
| Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr | | Taxation | |
| Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion | | Uncategorized | |
| Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse. | | Uncategorized | |
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| Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. | | Change; Politicians | |
| Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else | | Funny | |
| Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. | | Uncategorized | |
| Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite. | | Uncategorized | |
| For every nation and every individual, the principal worry is debt. | | Uncategorized | |
| For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity | | America and Americans | |
| Gentlemen, you have just been listening to that Chinese sage, On Too long | | Uncategorized | |
| Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far | | Uncategorized | |
| God made man a little lower than the angels, and he has been getting a little lower ever since | | Uncategorized | |
| Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt. | | Funny; Golf | |
| Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. | | Uncategorized | |
| Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. | | Uncategorized | |
| Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save | | Life; Time | |
