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| I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it | | Journalism | |
| I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like. | | Uncategorized | |
| I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good. | | Uncategorized | |
| I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. | | Uncategorized | |
| I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't. | | Uncategorized | |
| I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. | | Uncategorized | |
| I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session. | | Uncategorized | |
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| I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved. | | Uncategorized | |
| I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. | | Uncategorized | |
| I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. | | Uncategorized | |
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| I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to. | | Uncategorized | |
| I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime. | | Uncategorized | |
| I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips. | | Uncategorized | |
| I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it | | Uncategorized | |
| I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man. | | Uncategorized | |
| I'm just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have is because I have stayed an old country boy. | | Uncategorized | |
| I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! | | Uncategorized | |
