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Quotations by author » Woody Allen
American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 193 Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next ... Last
A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Words
A lion and a lamb can lay toghether, but the lamb will get little sleep.
Uncategorized
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
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All people know the same truth; our lives consist of how we choose to distort them
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All the crap that they tell you about ... getting joy, and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe, ... I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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All the crap that they tell you about ... getting joy, and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years -- it's all tripe, ... I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
Uncategorized
All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe,
Uncategorized
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate
Poverty
As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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believe it when I see it.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
DatingFunny
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.
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Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Comedy
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death and dyingSex
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love
FunnySex
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 193 Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next ... Last
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