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Quotations by author » P. J. O'Rourke
American political commentator,Journalist, Writer and Humorist, b.1947
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 63 Pages: 1 2 3 4 Next Last
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
An important person should be treated exactly like anyone else holding a gun at your head.
Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.
Children must be considered in a divorce-considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
ChildrenDeath and dyingInformation
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spouse, no teen with a wrecked family car, no mayor of Washington, D.C., videotaped in flagrant has ever come up with anything as farfetched as U.S. farm policy.
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 63 Pages: 1 2 3 4 Next Last
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