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Quotations by author » Robert Orben
US magician and comedy writer, b. 1927
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 35 Pages: 1 2 Next Last
A compliment is verbal sunshine
A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
If you can laugh together, you can work together
Team work
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Native Americans
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
Quotes: 1 - 20 of 35 Pages: 1 2 Next Last
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